My my my. what a day. This truly was a day of much growth, and it humbled aswell.
It started with church. Namely, the 9 o'clock service at vanguard church. Today made me feel very small and confused for sure. I didn't feel like I could adequately worship. I've gathered that with my emotions all wacky lately I'm just ultra cautious about the whole thing. Its been really hard for me to worship because I'm afraid that any emotions displayed during the time wont even be true. All this emotional imbalance is throwing me a loop. I cant even tell whats true and whats not. Its really REALLY hard for me. This is what humbled me today. Its humbling imagining that God has the power to make it so that we dont even know whats going on with ourselves. Now thats power! Its crazy. That power itself is what humbles. My fear of God has grown for sure but in a healthy way. Its a respectful fear. I guess all this thought and realization is what the growth part was. lol. I grew so that I actually have to depend 100% on God to let me realize what my emotions are because I can't do it myself. I also feel like Im doing better at processing thoughts purely because of seeing it in my writing. What a blessing computers truly are. lol.
It started with church. Namely, the 9 o'clock service at vanguard church. Today made me feel very small and confused for sure. I didn't feel like I could adequately worship. I've gathered that with my emotions all wacky lately I'm just ultra cautious about the whole thing. Its been really hard for me to worship because I'm afraid that any emotions displayed during the time wont even be true. All this emotional imbalance is throwing me a loop. I cant even tell whats true and whats not. Its really REALLY hard for me. This is what humbled me today. Its humbling imagining that God has the power to make it so that we dont even know whats going on with ourselves. Now thats power! Its crazy. That power itself is what humbles. My fear of God has grown for sure but in a healthy way. Its a respectful fear. I guess all this thought and realization is what the growth part was. lol. I grew so that I actually have to depend 100% on God to let me realize what my emotions are because I can't do it myself. I also feel like Im doing better at processing thoughts purely because of seeing it in my writing. What a blessing computers truly are. lol.
With this, I bid my readers a fond farewell for tonight. May God give you all the grace to recognize your own blessings and thoughts.
-T-Klop-
Leave any Comments about this post or to request what I rant about in the next post beneath. Thank You!
Leave any Comments about this post or to request what I rant about in the next post beneath. Thank You!
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